


The little Starscream that Could

by Kelsey_Jaybird



Category: Transformers Animated (2007), Transformers Generation One
Genre: Canon - Cartoon, Comedy, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-08
Updated: 2014-03-08
Packaged: 2018-01-03 23:56:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1074566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kelsey_Jaybird/pseuds/Kelsey_Jaybird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Megatron should really avoid telling Starscream he can't do things.</p><p>Based off of moments in the G1 cartoon where Megatron tells Starscream he can't. Oh, he can.</p><p>Silly humor abounds within. Set in a combination of Animated 'verse and G1 'verse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You couldn't lead a parade!

Megatron had really brought this one on himself, thought Thundercracker. After all, he should have known better than to give Starscream ideas by now.

Then again, it had been brought on Thundercracker as well this time, and Thundercracker was seriously considering joining Starscream's crusade against Megatron. Megatron wasn't the one marching down Main Street Detroit holding balloons. Multi-coloured balloons with smiley faces on them. So very, very undecepticon-like.

It had all started when Megatron had laughed at one of Starscream's admittedly pitiful attempts to take over the deceptions, and Megatron had told Starscream that he couldn't lead a parade. Thundercracker saw the light go on in Starscream's head and knew things weren't going to end well for anyone.

Blitzwing was enjoying himself- but Thundercracker really didn't want to know where he had got the giant cymbals from. And how Starscream had co-erced Soundwave into playing music to them to march too, they'd never know. It probably had something to do with Rumble and Frenzy tossing a flaming baton between each other. Skywarp and Sunstreaker were already squabbling over the banner. Thundercracker sighed and leaned forward to Starscream, who was scarily amused by his giant drum.

"I think this is taking things a bit too far, Starscream." Thundercracker pointed out, narrowly missing the fleeing humans. The autobots had decided to show up, and instead of stopping Starscream's insanity as Thundercracker hoped they would, had decided to watch. To watch. Starscream seemed unruffled, but Thundercracker was resisting the urge to beat the autobots down with one of his balloons.

He spotted Megatron hovering in the distance, the look on his face one mixing amusement, shock and sheer horror. Okay, now the parade was totally worth it. He hoped someone was getting a picture, since camera guy was left behind.

"WHAT IN SPARKS SAKE IS GOING ON!" Megatron bellowed. Starscream called his parade to a halt (thank Primus).

"I," Starscream said proudly, putting his hands on his hips, "am leading a parade."

"So you are." Megatron said, looking at the pack Starscream had assembled, and the watching, snickering autobots. It was clear that the decepticon leader had no idea how to respond. Thundercracker grimaced when he saw Starscream produce a giant trumpet.

"Oh no." he whispered.

"Oh yes." Skywarp grinned as Megatron took the offered trumpet, cut in front of Thundercracker, and the parade continued.


	2. Androids to a picnic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You couldn't lead androids to a picnic!" 
> 
> Apparently the actual quote is "ant-droids". This is more fun.

Thundercracker was really starting to think that Starscream would make a better leader than Megatron. At least he learned.

This time, Thundercracker had to admit, it had been partially his fault. After Megatron had informed Starscream that he 'couldn't lead androids to a picnic', Starscream had asked him what an android was. And Thundercracker had told him. And once again, that light went off.

Thundercracker just didn't understand why he was stuck weaving the picnic baskets. Blitzwing had expressed great interest in the baskets, but Starscream had him cooking. That left Thundercracker with a bunch of organic-plant bits, poorly drawn instructions, and very sore fingers.

Once Starscream had figured out that androids were human robot creations, that did not exist on Cybertron and that Megatron only knew about because he had tried to steal, he went about figuring if they could eat. There wouldn't be a point in a picnic if they couldn't eat, he said. Thundercracker knew that he should have pointed out that robots didn't 'eat', but he didn't. Starscream figured out, quite messily, in fact, that they couldn't eat human food. But then, what did they eat? He decided that energon was out of the question, because that meant less for him. He figured that some were powered by electricity, some by oil, and some by batteries. There was even one powered by organic plant oil.

Now Thundercracker was grateful that he was making picnic baskets instead of cooking. He didn't want to know how Blitzwing was faring in turning electricity into cookies.

The recipes had actually been the fun part. Who knew that Soundwave had the best recipe for oil muffins?

The last basket was finally made. Skywarp cheerfully bounced in, holding his hand-stitched picnic blanket. "Do you think Screamer will like it?"

Thundercracker rolled his optics. "He better. If he doesn't like it, he can do it himself." Then Thundercracker realised that he probably would, and that that couldn't have a good result.

Starscream soon joined them, followed by an exhausted looking Blitzwing. "We have everything?" He asked. The crew nodded. "Assemble the picnic!" He roared, pumping his fist into the air. Everyone scrambled to work.

Megatron had in fact succeeded in stealing the androids this time. His grand scheme was to turn them against the humans. How this would put energon on the table, no one knew. Starscream had been forced to do the dirty work, as usual, and thus had spent more time with them and gained their trust. A cunning strategy.

To take them on a picnic. Thundercracker thought. So devious.

Starscream, who had disappeared during the construction of the picnic, returned with six androids following him. One was an intimidating military fellow, two some assembly line bots, one that resembled an organic pet, one built to replicate a popular cartoon character and a Japanese one --Thundercracker didn't want to know what 'she' was made for. "Let's go." He said to his fellow decepticons. "These guys are getting hungry."

The androids followed their intrepid picnic master to a spot on a hill right outside the base. Skywarp took great joy in smoothing out his blanket, and Thundercracker had to admire his crafts-bot-ship. The androids were thrilled with their oil muffins, topped with charcoal sprinkles. Not good for you, but it was a special occasion after all.

Starscream stood by and watched his new-found friends enjoy their food. He was so caught up in their joy that he didn't notice a large grey object land nearby.

"Starscream," roared Megatron, "what are you doing with the androids?"

"They are having a picnic." Starscream replied.

Megatron looked at the spread, then back to Starscream. "How did they get here?"

"I led them." Starscream replied, a hint of a smirk playing at his mouth. Thundercracker couldn't help but smile.

Megatron did not look happy. "Did you co-erce your fellow decepticons into sewing and cooking?"

"Actually, they volunteered." Starscream said. Thundercracker was annoyed that his beautiful baskets were over-looked.

"Decepticons don't sew." Megatron growled. Skywarp looked quite sad, but remembered that there was always crocheting. Starscream shrugged. Megatron looked like he was about to smack Starscream, and maybe Skywarp, but his gaze seemed to soften. Perhaps he thought that letting the androids enjoy a picnic would gain him their alliance. That, and there was food. "Can I have an oil muffin?"

Blitzwing looked up nervously from the basket containing said muffins, oil all over his mouth. Megatron's jaw dropped. "Uhh…. the androids ate them?"

"WHAT!"

That was how the four of them got stuck in the kitchen making ten batches of oil muffins.

Thundercracker was really starting to think that Starscream would make a better leader than Megatron. At least he shared his muffins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Thundercracker.

**Author's Note:**

> Cross posted from fanfiction.net


End file.
